Photo by Carol (that’s me!) from our recent dream trip to Kauai.

Does a baby avocado grow up dreaming of being spread on toast and covered with an egg? or being mashed in to guacamole to be eaten with chips at the world’s finest five-star resort? Of course not!

Why? Because avocadoes don’t have a heart and a brain and an imagination that allows it to dream, to set goals, and to connect in the way that only humans can.

As humans, we should never forget that. We are made differently than every plant, animal, and inanimate object on this planet.

As humans, we are animate. Full of life! With spirit, with consciousness, power of motion, emotion, and imagination! What do you dream about doing while here on Earth?

What Is Your Why?

One recent evening, I was living large (somewhat inanimate, you might say) as I sat on my couch and scrolled through my Twitter feed. I saw and clicked on a link to GetRichSlowly’s recent presentation on knowing your why. He posted a recording of a talk he gave at a financial independence retreat, and his presentation made me think. It made me happy to know that I have NOT raced through life without any intentionality. It also made me recall the dreams list I had written long ago.

I stood up, walked over to a bookshelf and found exactly what I wanted. A certain book with a piece of paper folded inside the back cover.

The Prompt

Back in 1996, I had started to read a book called Superself in which the author, Charles Givens, gave the following prompt:

If I had unlimited time, talent, money, knowledge, self-confidence, and support from my family, here is a list of everything I would like to do with my life.

Armed with that prompt, my husband and I sat at our patio table on a pretty summer day in our pretty backyard. (A quick check of an online perpetual calendar confirms it was a Sunday afternoon – June 2, 1996.) Our toddler was in her room napping. Whatever the duration of her nap was the time we put into this exercise.

We worked individually. I found my husband’s list, too, but I’m only going to share my list, along with a brief comment to address whether I’ve lived out my dreams from 22 years ago.

My Dreams List (from 1996)

If I had unlimited time, talent, money, knowledge, self-confidence, and support from my family, here is a list of everything I would like to do with my life:

1. Travel to all 50 states

• Almost! One to go! Can you guess which one? Incomplete.

2. Return to Europe to visit France, Austria, Italy, and Spain

• Went once in the early 1990s and haven’t yet returned. Incomplete.

3. Finish and publish “my book idea that will remain unnamed here”

• This book idea was specific to the state where I was living at the time. It could be adapted to my current state, but I think it’s already been done here. Incomplete.

4. Write a children’s book

• Developed an idea back then. Book incomplete.

5. Adopt an international child after we’re done birthing our biological children

• Does it count that we adopted domestically through the foster care system? I think so. Complete.

6. Own a second home in the Colorado Rockies

• Not a second home, but we do own a house in Colorado. The dream was more about returning to Colorado. Complete.

7. Have two more kids of our own

• Little did we know that I was pregnant at the time I was writing my list and that bundle of joy arrived several months later. A third child was not meant to be as I went on to have multiple miscarriages in later years. And we’ve adopted. I will consider this one to be complete.

8. Work out of our home so I can devote most time to our family

• I chose to be a stay-at-home mom for several years, which was a positive experience. I work part-time rather than full-time, and I do have some flexibility regarding telecommuting. Ongoing. You can read about my experiences here. 

9. Give back to our community(ies) in a meaningful way that helps those less fortunate

• For our time as licensed foster parents, complete.

10. Take piano lessons again

• At the time, we lived across the country from my parents and I knew they’d be happy to give me their piano once we lived closer. I must have been longing for that. We have the piano now, and I sit down to play occasionally, but, no, I have not resumed lessons. Incomplete.

11. Pay off our family members’ mortgages

• Wow! How generous of me this would be! But no. “Sorry!” to my relatives. In fact, see #6. We still have a balance on our home mortgage, though we pay extra principal each month and are getting closer to full ownership. Incomplete.

12. Do more bike-riding

• Not a huge audacious goal by any measure, but I have always loved and still do love riding my bike. I prefer to be on paths and trails, away from traffic, where I’m less likely to get hit by a car. Do you ever think back fondly to the activities you loved doing as a kid? For me, bicycling is one of those activities. I haven’t been consistent with this one and need to get moving. It’s June already and I’ve only ridden once. Ongoing.

13. Vacation to a beach destination annually

• At this time I wrote the list, we lived in a state with awesome beaches and a lot of people went for a weeklong vacation every summer. We don’t visit a beach destination annually, but we go enough that my thirst for sun and water fun is satisfied. I will consider this as complete.

14. Do and help others do more social work

• Aside from our charitable giving, a few mission trips, and the years we provided foster care to children in need, I can do much, much better. Ongoing.

15. Help others achieve personal goals so everyone will be in a happier state of mind

• The world needs more joy-filled people, for sure! I consider myself an encourager, but this one is hard to quantify outside of my immediate family (and I’m also not saying my family is always happy because of me – they are happy, optimistic, positive people of their own choosing, doing, and wiring). I started this blog to encourage overwhelmed adults to reduce their work schedules to allow for more family time…does that count for any points? Ongoing.

16. Raise good kids who respect others and aren’t troublemakers

• Two kids have launched from the nest and, to my knowledge, nobody has been arrested. So far, so good! Two-thirds complete.

17. Support my husband with what he needs to reach his goals

• I will claim a gold star on this one. I married an amazing man who is happy to be the primary breadwinner for our family, and he does it well. I downsized my career to a part-time schedule so I could largely handle the day to day logistics of our family. When he quit his well-paid job to start a new business, I was completely supportive of him pursuing one of the items from his Dreams List. Complete. (p.s. he supports my dreams as well)

18. Have a super organized, well-stocked kitchen and become a good cook who can entertain and make it look effortless

• Ha! This sounds shallow. May I claim my dream was focused on the noble virtue of hospitality and welcoming others into our home? We always enjoy having people over for meals, game night, or socializing but don’t do it enough. This past year, we hosted a small group from our church and met about three times per month to support each other in life. We’re not meant to do life alone. Though sometimes usually the preparations were finished in a rushed manner at the last minute, we’ve noticed that afterward we ALWAYS are so thankful for the opportunity to spend quality time with such a good group of friends. Ongoing.

19. Start a scholarship fund to help pay college costs for promising young people who otherwise couldn’t afford it

• So far, we’ve helped our older two with college expenses. One to go! And then perhaps we will consider funding a scholarship. Incomplete.

20. Have a consistent “put-together” look and stylish appearance

• What?! This sounds shallow too. I do have a consistent look. It’s purchased from the sale racks of Stein-mart, Kohls, and Target. LOL. Ongoing.

21. Support the goals of our church family with time and finances

• Financially, a ‘thumbs up’ here as we contribute regularly to our church and other non-profits. Time-wise, I’d get a better grade in past years, mostly from when our older kids were still at home and I was more involved with Sunday school, vacation Bible school, AWANA, and youth group.  Ongoing.

22. Always maintain close relations with friends and family

• I can always do better here. Life is one busy day after another. Intentionality is key in scheduling free time to visit or call your loved ones. Sadly, sometimes relationships are broken, and the fix is in the other person’s court. Ongoing.

23. Bike tour of France and/or Holland

• Incomplete.

24. Ride gondola in Venice

• Incomplete.

25. Ski in Austria

• Incomplete. Colorado has awesome skiing. I’ll scratch this one from the list.

26. Keep our house clean

• Double ha! What was I thinking here? Maybe that I’d be willing to pay for a housecleaner if I had unlimited money? I didn’t word it that way. Ongoing.

27. Exercise for fitness, plus to become a size 8

• Similar to #26 — ha! I’ve long been a size 12, sometimes on the lower side and even a size 10. I must have been thinking that with unlimited time and money that I would have no excuses for not making the effort to get to a size 8. Half complete since I do exercise for health purposes.

Did I Dream Big? Bigger? Biggest?

Let me be clear that I am NOT disappointed in my life.

But, honestly, I’m somewhat disappointed in my list. Read the prompt again:

If I had unlimited time, talent, money, knowledge, self-confidence, and support from my family, here is a list of everything I would like to do with my life.

Unlimited time!

Unlimited talent!

Unlimited money!

Unlimited knowledge!

Unlimited self-confidence!

Unlimited support!

All those unlimited resources and I included items such as go on more bike rides, keep the house clean, and exercise to become a size 8? Heck, why didn’t I choose a nice tall, slender size 6?

What was wrong with me? Those were not big, life-changing dreams. Those were not Dream Bigger or Dream Biggest or designed to change the world.

Those were Dream Medium. Dream Small. Dream Vanilla. Dream Safe.

Some of those sound more like values than dreams. Family oriented. Hospitable. Charitable.

Granted, the internet was still young and accessed via dial-up lines. But I’d had been to Europe and knew there was more of the world to see.  My dad had retired early so I was aware of the possibility, but he enjoyed his career and would have liked to continue working.

Where were the “go big or go home” items on my list? Items such as

• finding the cure for cancer or fighting to get housing affordable for all (helping society)
• traveling the world (adventuring and connecting with other cultures)
• getting personal finance curriculum into every high school in America (educating future generations)

2018 Reboot

I’m going to do this exercise again with all the wisdom, awareness, and hindsight I’ve gained in the past 22 years. I invite you to do the same. Clear a 30-minute window and sit down with a pen and piece of paper. Write down the prompt and then brainstorm without any limiting beliefs. Aim for at least 25 items.

Not every dream makes the cut to the smart, measurable, achievable, realistic, timely (SMART) goals list. Isn’t there a saying that goes something like, “If you shoot for the stars, you might still land on the moon”? Actually, Norman Vincent Peale said, ““Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” Either way, aim high and you’ll achieve more than if you’d never aimed at all.

That state I still need to visit? Alaska. Did you guess correctly?

Any thoughts on my list? Please share in the comments below any big dreams that you already know will make your list.

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