Who better than you, honored wedding attendant, to see that the bride and groom drive off to their wedded bliss with some financial preparedness tools in their shiny new toolbox. Photo by Carl Heyerdahl on Unsplash.

Being selected by your dear friend or sibling to be their Best Man or Maid of Honor means you are super special to them. It is an honor reserved for those nearest and dearest.

It also means that you, more than anyone except their parents, should be most interested in seeing this marriage succeed.

A quick search of the internet yields numerous checklists that indicate you’re going to be busy helping the bride and groom plan and execute their big day.

Think you just need to safeguard the ring, provide emotional support and a sense of calm on the big day, and sign as the official witness? You are wrong.

You also get to host a bridal shower, keep the rest of the attendants up-to-date as the plans develop throughout the entire engagement period, plan the bachelor and bachelorette parties, give a toast at the reception, and decorate the bride and groom’s getaway vehicle.

Which is more important: wedding day or marriage preparedness?

Considering all the detailed planning associated with the wedding day, how deliberate is the planning that goes into launching a successful marriage?

Statistics vary but show that a significant percent of marriages end in divorce and many blame the breakdown on financial issues.

I know, I know, the happy duo is excited to launch their new life as an autonomous couple, giddy about starting their own journey. “Who am I,” you may ask, “to butt in on their bliss?”

I am adding to your to-do lists, Mr. Best Man and Ms. Maid of Honor. You are going to take this honor seriously and voluntarily complete some additional duties to best serve your special friend, the bride and/or the groom.

The wedding festivities last one day, maybe a whole weekend. Ideally their marriage will last for years and hopefully a lifetime.

Remember, as the cherished friend who was deemed worthy of selection as Best Man or Maid of Honor, you can think beyond the wedding day and invest in their MARRIAGE by executing these additional tasks to help them launch successfully.

The typical milestones along the engagement timeline will serve as cues for you to make your move.

Cue #1: The Engagement Announcement

You may have not have been officially asked to serve in the wedding yet, but at some point in time after the gushing couple announces their big news, initiate a conversation about their comfort level with personal finances.

• Are you going to merge your finances or keep separate accounts?
• Are you both spenders? savers? or one of each?
• Is anyone bringing debt to the marriage?
• Do you know how much your beloved makes?

You don’t need all the details, but you can try to determine if they’ve discussed it and are moving toward transparency.

If they haven’t, encourage them to do so, with guidance or mentoring if need be. The purpose here is not to be nosy and intrude too deeply. Your motive is simply to encourage your soon-to-be-married friend to get comfortable addressing finances as part of a team.

Cue #2: Honor Attendant Recruitment Day

Did your best friend just deliver a Pinterest-worthy, thoughtful gift stenciled with chalk letters in a beautiful font, asking you to be the Best Man or Maid of Honor, a leader of the wedding party? How fancy was it? The more expensive the gift, the more difficult your new mentoring tasks MIGHT be!

Know that you are now the first line of defense, the protector of the bridesmaids’ and groomsmen’ monthly budgets. Poll your charges in the wedding party:

• How many weddings are you in this year? What is your financial obligation per wedding so far? Are any of them destination weddings?
• How much disposable income is available in your monthly spending plan?

Keep tabs on the expected spending and get ready to call the happy couple out, gently if able and sternly if needed, if they’re expecting too much financially of their wedding attendants.

Cue #3: Save the Date Cards

Did you get their cute Save the Date Card in the mail? The one with the beautiful engagement portrait? This is your cue to ask the bride or groom if THEY’VE saved the date and reserved a spot in a personal finance course, such as Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University, preferably before the wedding but NO LATER than their first anniversary. Heck, maybe you could even gift it to them.

Cue #4: Co-Ed Bridal Shower

Why does the bride usually get all the gifts and fun? She can pick out her own lingerie and kitchen utensils.

You’re both in charge of this one. Yep, now is the time for the Best Man and Maid of Honor to co-host a co-ed shower with a personal finance theme.

Here are two ideas to get you started with those mandatory shower games:

• Have the guests write their best personal finance tip on an index card, then have the guests of honor guess who wrote it.
• Hold up some common household and grocery items and see who can most accurately guess the price. Include items that he and she wouldn’t normally buy until they’re part of a couple. Yep, you know what I mean.

Steer guests needing gift ideas to these items:

• Personal finance book (a classic): Your Money or Your Life: 9 Steps to Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Achieving Financial Independence: Fully Revised and Updated (<– Amazon affiliate link)
• Personal finance book (another classic): The Millionaire Next Door: The Surprising Secrets of America’s Wealthy  (<– Amazon affiliate link)
• Cash envelopes, Dave Ramsey style, with a little seed money to get them started
• A one-year subscription to YNAB or some other budget software
• A collection of your favorite Rockstar Finance blogposts, printed and bound in a lovely three-ring binder

Cue #5: Wedding Reception Toasts

I was once at a wedding reception where the Best Man may have been a little shy. As everyone held up a glass, he delivered his toast: “To the Bride and Groom!” He may have used their names. Someone in the crowd yelled, “Did you write that yourself?”

Not everyone embraces the opportunity to speak publicly. If you are terrified of public speaking, here’s an idea to get you started.

“To the bride and groom, may you have many, many years of happily wedded bliss, paid off debt, and fully funded emergency funds and retirement accounts. May your savings and investments grow as deeply as your love for each other.”

You get the idea. The bride and groom will be leaving the reception soon, so this is your last chance to mentor them publicly before they leave.

Cue #6: Getaway Car Decorations

One more task on your to-do list: decorating that getaway car. In addition to writing “Just Married!”, consider short phrases such as “Spend Less Than You Make!” and “Avoid Debt!”

Protect the bride and groom’s physical asset. When you decorate their car, use car-friendly window paint rather than, say, shaving cream that can damage the car’s finish.

As our reception wound down and the crowd thinned, my husband and I left for our next official act as a married couple. Yep, still in our wedding attire, he drove us to a nearby car wash at midnight so he could wash the shaving cream from that precious new car I had recently purchased. I married well.

In closing, let me say “Happy April Fool’s Day!” Just kidding! Or am I?

Got any personal finance advice for engaged couples or newlyweds? Share it in the comments below!